DALLAS — Escaping is not easy.
“I would get hit with window blinds, sticks, board posts under the bed, whatever he could get his hands on,” said Andrea Launza, a domestic violence survivor.
Launza said her ex-boyfriend started with control. “It came so easy. I didn't see it. I didn't see it,” said Launza.
Then, she said the physical abuse followed control. “I've tried to leave several times,” said Launza
“Normally, it says it takes seven times for a victim to finally leave,” said Judge Shequitta Kelly, Dallas County Criminal Court.
Judge Kelly presides over one of two domestic violence specialty courts in Dallas County. “When we don't talk about it and we try to stay out of each other's business, we empower domestic violence,” said Judge Kelly.
Her silence came in college after a neighbor who was being abused knocked on her door. “She shoved her two kids into my house, and she ran,” said Judge Kelly. “I got a knock about two hours later. She had a black eye. She came, she got her daughters.”
Judge Kelly said she didn’t call the police that time, but she called after she saw the same man abuse someone else sometime later. “When they got there, she was tied to a chair, and he had beat the crap out of her all while her little son was sitting next to her on the floor. I mean, it haunts me,” said Judge Kelly. “I paid for it because that happened in 1996 and this is 2024. I still can see it as clear as day, and I still think, ‘I hope she's safe.’”
That is why Judge Kelly sits on the bench today. She sees more than 2,000 cases of domestic violence a year. “It's not our job to get them to leave. It's our job to help them when they do,” said Judge Kelly.
She said that help could be establishing a code word to escape or a safety plan. “You have to not be judgmental either because they, they're already being told by the offender that they don't matter,” said Judge Kelly.
That is what Launza’s abuser told her for 13 years until she met Eva Miles, founder of Anna’s House Shelter. “When they call me and it's an emergency, they leave in late at night. We supply hotel rooms,” said Miles. She also connects survivors such as Launza with resources.
“I went through all that, and I can still, I can still smile,” said Launza. “I've been going backwards for so long, everybody has been against me. It's time for me to make it. It's time.” Launza is no longer bound and is finally free.
Judge Kelly said there is still a backlog of domestic violence cases from COVID and that cases tend to rise during the holidays. She also stressed that silence kills, so it’s important to speak up.