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Becoming Santa: Lessons Jody Dean learned as a first-time Santa Claus

Did you know there are organizations devoted specifically to those who don the red suit? Or that there are even groups for 'real-beard' Santas? Jody Dean didn't.

Jody Dean

Amir Fard

Published: 3:52 PM CST December 21, 2023
Updated: 4:01 PM CST December 21, 2023

The moment had finally arrived. 

After years of saying that maybe one day I’d like to work as Santa Claus during the holiday season, it was actually happening. 

Jacket off and sleeves rolled up, light sparkled off my pocket watch and gold chain. Spectacles properly perched on the end of my nose, I’d been directed to the kind of comfortable high-back chair a carpenter might have by a fire just inside the back door of his home, leading out to his workshop. 

The setting was right. My costume was right. The stage was set. I’d done my homework. I was ready. 

It was time for my Santa to greet his first child.  

A small tip for adults here: If your child does not want to go up and meet Santa, that is just fine; don’t force them. If they want to, that's awesome, too. But, I've got to say, being unwillingly and suddenly plopped on the knee of some really large, loud, bearded stranger dressed all in red -- it may come up again when they pick your nursing home. 

My name will probably enter the chat as well. 

Even those of us who are parents will tell you that there is a certain noise toddlers make just before completely losing it that’s never been fully understood or described by science. In a way, it’s almost cat-like -- in that you know nothing good comes after that first low rumble.  

Anyway, wholly undaunted by clear evidence that Yellowstone was about to blow, mom and dad cheerily deposited junior on my knee. Surely, they eagerly anticipating that unforgettable Christmas memory when their little prince got his picture made with what he must have thought was a giant crimson grizzly bear. 

For better or worse, unforgettable is exactly what they got.  

Their little fella reacted as any normal human being would have. He grabbed my beard in a death-grip while his parents frantically tried to simultaneously pick him up and get him to let go of my facial hair. He showed no interest in any of this, and  he seemed determined only to squirm out of his skin while hollering and kicking with the ferocity of a badger. 

"Oh, he never does this!," they swore up and down. "He was just fine in the car!"

Which... I’m sure that was true, but how would you like to be napping all toasty in your car seat only to be awakened by some dude in fuzzy Frankenstein boots? 

It’s a lot 

Finally, the little lad calmed down enough for his parents to gather themselves, too. And, eventually, I think we even managed a nice photo. 

But that was my inauguration. Dreams of 'Miracle on 34th Street' moments were immediately dashed by a tot whose wails could set off car alarms. 

The very first kid. 

My very first kid. 

And I was scheduled to be there for six hours. 

It’s moments like that where you start to get a sense of how a comedian must feel when they bomb in the early show. No, you’re not done yet, son

So, I took the only attitude possible: After that initiation, I figured, the only way things could go was up. 

And, of course, they did. My first gig as Santa turned out to be the perfect learning experience. It didn’t take very long for me to realize why those who don the red suit love it so much. 

Before I got into any of this, I talked to the pros. I spoke with some of the local Santas -- or ambassadors, as some prefer to identify themselves as -- who have become quite beloved over the years. 

They told me they often serve counselors as much as they act as Kris Kringle. Children will tell things to Santa they might not say to anyone else. 

And, oh, the things they ask for...

When asked what she wanted for Christmas this year, one very sharp little girl I met had an immediate and confident answer: "To be rich!"

A few minutes later, another child asked for her family's good health. 

The veteran Santas told me not to be surprised when a child barely old enough to remember their address rattles off the complete name of a specific toy they wanted -- down to the serial number. 

Then there are other requests Santas sometimes get: "Santa, can you make my cancer go away?"

Yes, really. That’s what Santa often hears. 

I know. 

This Santa didn’t see it coming, either. At least not the first time. 

But let’s start at the beginning of this story.  

Credit: Amir Fard
Jody comes from a long line of assorted hams, so of course he was drawn the the idea of dressing up as the big guy.

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